I watch my plate,
Should I eat this much?
I look to other girls,
compare my nose to theirs.
What if my boyfriend finds someone prettier, smarter,
less moody,
less anxious than me?
I look in the mirror,
my face distorts to a pig.
I'm becoming manly,
that's the worst part of all.
Forgetting to shave, wearing jeans and no makeup.
Please don't leave me.
Their eyes peel away my clothes
Without the validation of beauty I am nothing.
Leaving the house is a phobia
I might not return
Taken, raped or murdered.
I look over my shoulder,
aware that I can run but not fight.
Every mute sound is a danger waiting to kill me.
Harassed at work by an old man,
my mum telling me to wear something over my pants in my own house,
there are men here.
Wearing what I want to wear,
my dad says to change because he doesn't want to see.
Why would you look anyway?
I hate being a girl,
for all the things I can't do.
